Ok, you need this poem to understand part of the next one, because I...*gasp* wrote a sequel to One Last Goodbye, which is really and expansion of the ideas in this poem, and this poem is referenced in that sequel. I know, a sequel is weird. I know it's crazy, and like most sequels, it is a pale version of the first. Yeah, don't really know why I wrote it, other than that I just felt like it at the time. So I'm going to post these two together since they go together and stuff. The first, A Leap of Faith is something I wrote about graduation about seven months before we actually did. Amazing how some of what I said came true, a lot of it actually. Before you read the second one Between Us, you might want to re-visit One Last Goodbye. I know that Between Us is not as good as One Last Goodbye, but tough cookies, I wrote it for a purpuse, I wrote it because...................I...felt like it. Ok, ok, so that's a bad reason. Too bad, I'm posting it anyway, so there. First thing's first...

A Leap of Faith

We are standing on a cliff
What lies at the bottom we cannot know
It’s a leap of faith
And some will fall and some we will leave behind
Some we will lose in the darkness
It is an inevitable part of life, this test
Our world is about to change forever
This chapter is closing and it can never be opened again
We say nothing will change
But it will
A few months only for friends to become strangers
To fade from our lives and get left behind
As we travel into that glaring future
So bright as to dazzle the eyes
We will reach tomorrow
But we will never again regain today
And at the end of the day the memories of this time, these people, and this place will be all that remain
Tomorrow must erase today
So bid goodbye, my friends, to all you know
Close your eyes, hold your breath

And jump.

Ok, time now for the other one.

Between Us

A year ago today

A year ago today we stood

And with lonely hearts spoke one last goodbye

How far we’ve gone on our separate paths

But how true the warning that I gave that day

When we meet there is silence, awkward and dense enough to touch

Separate experience stands between us

New friends, new places, new lives

There is too much to share,

Too much to ignore

And now we know it will never be the same as it was

We’ve scattered so far, and changed so much

More than even I knew that day

Some we’ve lost and some we’ve left behind

Some have fallen in darkness

When I spoke those words I did not understand

How it would feel, where we were going

To separate trials and separate pain

I knew we might lose each other

But I never thought we’d lose ourselves

I guess we weren’t ready after all

That mountain is high and none of us, it seems

Can cross that snow-capped peak without getting a touch of frostbite

A year ago I was right, I knew the risks

The trials we might endure

But knowing and understanding

Are two very separate things.

We are all a little lost on this great mountain

Floundering as the day sinks to twilight,

That sunny afternoon where we bid our friends goodbye has long since gone

And this mountain is cold in the darkness

Yet foreword we must go, through the icy night

The memory of that warm glen where we parted company

A light amid the darkness, a reminder of the home we once had

The lives that we once shared

But they will get us through, though for now the world seems dark

And we shelter in the memories of the world we used to know,

The shining ties of friendship that once held us together

And so we push on through this freezing darkness

Hoping beyond all hope that we will all reach the end

That day will break

To a golden dawn

And that all will turn out well

When we see each other again

On the other side of tomorrow

Hey, here's one I've been working on for a bit. I like it, but I can't seem to come up with a good ending. Oh, well, I've given up for the moment. Let me know if you think the ending is too abrupt. And I'd entertain any suggestions. So this one is about reenacting. I wrote it right after, and about, Delgroso last year.

(Titleless)

A fire burns brightly in the darkness
It’s flames dance and leap in the still, warm air
The serene reddish glow illuminates the night
Casts its oddly comforting glow on every watching face
While in the sky above a full moon watches
Half-shrouded by cloud, it hangs alone in the infinite blackness
A light fog rolls in, blurring all lines with cottony softness
At a distance tiny points of light flicker gently
Candle-lit lanterns shining through the fog
Over a field of triangle tents
Common only long ago
The sound of gentle banjo notes drifts lightly over the trees
Then slipping through the fog, a figure
Half-seen through the dim light and cloudy air
Dressed in gray, whose time has long since come
A walking ghost, perhaps, some restless spirit
Or a known friend dreaming of other times and other days
When glory as attainable
And some ideas were worth the price of death
Of great men and great times, the likes of which will never again walk this earth
But the night is cloaked in shadows
Smoke and fog combine until nothing here is sure
And all that was presses on the thin, silken veil of reality
Until the past seems so close
Close enough to touch
Where we all are gathered old souls with young hearts
Trying to find that which we never knew
Stealing moments from across the years
Sitting in the shadows of these great canvas tents
Surrounded by smoke and glowing flame
Caught in the foggy glare of a moon-lit field
Waiting in silence for the fate of the morning
The clouded moon drifting above
On such nights still ghosts walk
And we among them

Until we close our eyes to dream

Hey, it's been a while....sorry about that. I've been rather busy. So here's an old one. I wrote it in...10th grade maybe? Something like that, I think. I wrote it because....I don't know, I guess I wanted to try my hand at pretty or something. Anyway, this has had like four titles over time, but I decided simpler was better so that's what I settled on. So here it is.

Dreaming

I rode to the sky and back on a horse called Moonlight

Her frothy mane imitating the sea

With a voice as pure as whalesong

And a grace like dolphins at play

We ran on the sand in the darkness

Feet never touching the ground

And feasted upon the starlight

With raindrops to wash it down

Ah to clothe myself in cloud linen

Never spun by mortal hands

The softest silk is as sand paper

When compared to those iridescent strands

Walking away, not speaking, eyelids drooping

In the forest of crystal trees

Glowing with some soft inner radiance

Almost too beautiful to look upon

Sap of sweetened chamomile

Flowing pleasantly on the tongue

With pillows of silver moss and vanilla mist on the air

We slip slowly away through the fog

Perchance lost, never caring, for this place alone is safe

Drifting away, so far away, and suddenly not wanting to go

Too late to call out

Too late to stop

In my square box of a room I open my eyes

Feeling lost, confused, alone

Then a soft breeze fans my face

And I look up to see my window open, the clear moonlight beyond

And my ears catch at some distance, the fleeting echo of a whinny

I smile with the memories of this serene night

But as I turn back to sleep a distant question touches my mind

Which land have I left and into which am I entering

Am I waking up…or could it be that I am just beginning to dream?

Ok, so I'm back. Probably isn't news to any of you at this point. Trip was awsome! But now to business, I've decided the time is right for this. I must start by appologizing with all my heart for that which you are about to read, so *disclaimer* if anyone suffers mental, physical, or emotional damage due to this poem, it is of no fault of the author and you cannot sue/kill her. *disclaimer done* Ok, you have been warned. What follows is one of the more painful pieces of poetry that you will read on this blog. Painful to you, the reader, that is, not to me...i'm just laughing at you in an evil way. Mwahaha. Ok, now I'm getting criptic. Sorry, I'm tired. This poem was written after some of what I considered my best stuff (the last poem I posted, for example) did not make it into Hard Freight. So I adopted their style and wrote a poem to mock them, and to prove that I could write in that style if I so chose (which I don't). So you've read my best, now experiance my intentional worst. Sit back, relax, and prepare yourself for the ultimate suffering that is....

Artisticness

Where art thou?

Where art thou oh muse,

Oh goddess of the higher forms

An inspiration to idealized light

Randomness plays

Free in the space

As narrow as a penny

A penny on its side

Images connected

Together color

And sounds

Memories mix emotions

Run free

Nonsense melting

Down in rainbows

Like crayons

In the sun

Lying on

The sand at noon

Floating through the waves

Colored

At sunset

Like rose petals

Glistening

The sky

Fading color

Melting away

Crayons thrown

Away by a child

Lying on the shining hematite

Plastic

Hot and slowly buried

Sky is gone

No escape

Alone now

Rest

Muse

Found

In the dust

It was all a dream.

Well guys, time for one last post here, before I go. This is one I've been meaning to share, just haven't. But since I'm going on this trip it seemed to fit. I wrote it on the day we all left for college. Well, guess it's time for me to go catch my bus now. I'll be seeing you.

One Last Goodbye

Today

Today we sat together

Taking a meal, breaking bread

Sharing last laughs

Last looks

Last sighs

We are sitting at the foot of a great mountain

Its shadow grayish-purple in the dawn

The grass covered in dew

Glistening as diamonds sparkling in the pale morning light

Like raindrops or tears

The dawn fragile as the most delicate glass

Vulnerable to even a sneeze

We all know that this is good-bye

But none of us can think of what to say

So together we sit, silence pressing on us like a velvet shawl

Black as the darkest night, yet soft

Alone, in the company of friends, with our thoughts

Silent because there is too much to say

Silent because we don’t know where to begin

But mostly, silent because good-bye would make it real

We look toward the mountain of one mind

So long have we walked the same path

Been support and supported

Looked at the same world through different eyes

Long we have acted and nearly thought as one

Soon that all will change

When we climb the mountain it will be alone

For the first time there will be no rescue

And we must live or die on our own merit

Fear, excitement, trepidation and hope mix equally

Minds too full to think

But it comes to this

We will never see each other again

For in our separate destinies we will lose each other

Oh, our paths will intersect and we’ll smile and wave

Say, where you been?

Hello

And how are you?

But there is a price we know we must pay

For when again we meet we not know each other

I will know your face, perhaps, but not your heart

The insight of friendship, this is the price

For, what we are we will never be again

To see the future we must turn our backs on today

So here we sit

Eating in silence

We know this is it

Our last hurrah

Our last chance to say all the things we could

Our last goodbye

But we can’t face tomorrow

We can’t say farewell

We can’t, thought our hearts fill to bursting

The sun has grown hot now, the fire is low

The mist and the fog now are lifting

In silence we rise

And one-by-one start away

With many a backward glance and a smile

Good-bye, now at last with the courage to say

So long and farewell, good luck too you

May your journey be great

May your fortunes be kind

And every sunrise pink and golden

I wish you well

Unil I see you again

On the other side of tomorrow

It's three a.m. and I want to go to bed....good song. So yeah, I had to take a break from that paper, it was driving me nuts. You know, if anything, it's actually harder to write than I though. If that's possible. Man, am I tired. And this is acutally my second attempt at this post...first was funnier, but stupid computer messed it up and I lost it. It makes me sad. So yeah, it's getting late....or early depending on how you look at it. Wow, can't...make....words....make....sense. There we go. Caffiene is definitly wearing off at this point. So yeah, I think I'll post something now since it is technically tomorrow and I didn't post anything yesterday...technically. So I was going to post two things, but I can't find one of them (there's a shocker) So I'm just going to post this one. It's a sonnet that I had to write for english class. Therefore, it rhymes, is all about love, and acutally has punctuation. But I like it anyway. So here we go. You know what, screw the paper, I'm going to bed. But I'll leave you with this one.

Full Circle

Love is like the morning sun

Drying the glistening tears like dew.

Gentle is love barely begun,

The hope that will hope renew.

The love of mid-day noon is sweet,

Stronger than the knight’s tempered steel.

It is a might no power can defeat;

No wound exists that it cannot heal.

Bitter is the inevitable approach of night,

By pain, the sky is stained blood-red.

Long and hard is the useless fight,

But darkness brings the realization—love is dead.

Alone, dewy tears fall now once more,

Shining, as jagged diamond shards, scattered on the floor.

Not much time to talk this evening. Here's one that I wrote last night...b/c I felt like it. It's the default topic, when I can't think of anything to write, I write about writing, you'll see this in time. So I really haven't read this yet, and I may or may not decide that I like it. Oh, well, I'm in a hurry, paper to write before tomorrow and all that. Wish me luck to get done.

(Couldn't Think of a Title)

A blank page is a void

All that empty whiteness

Begging to be filled

A dead world

Locked in barrenness

Clay without form

Mere potential without direction

Waiting for all eternity

Alone throughout the ages

Created for my hand

This is my purpose

To shape the shapeless

To fill the page with color and darkness

With the tiny mountains and valleys

That unlock galaxies in a whisper

Worlds untouched by any hand

People born of none but the mind

My mind

All ideas and thoughts lie hidden beyond

Out of comprehension until I come to claim them

And in reaching out give them form

Life of my thought, a window to worlds unknown

The malleable blankness my reality.

Ok, this one has a bit of a story behind it. I found this one day in a notebook, on some random page...not that unusual, I tend to do my writing on random pages. And this poem was definitly in my hand writing, no question. But....I didn't remember writing it. I still don't. And the weirdest thing is that it is not in my usual style and certainly not my usual content. In fact it gave me the goosebumps...still does, really. So if you want an explaination as to where this crazy thing came from, sorry, can't help you, I have no idea. And that's how it got its title.

Too Creepy

When the moon hangs in low in an obsidian sky, be wary.

Take to your sheltering lamp

Guard your children and sleep not

For on such night still waters ripple

Out of a boiling inferno foul creatures rise

Throwing off sheets of scarlet liquid

The thundering tread among the windy howls of their victims

They search through the darkness for souls to steal

Hapless wonderers fall victim to their fangs

Children tucked in safe homes soon are missed without a trace

Parents weep, for their children now serve the master of the night,

Whose foul laughter echoes through the mourning village at dawn

When under a blood-red moon beware

For soon you will know true fear

Night has stronger claws then a bear

The witching hour grows too near

Monsters will rise from the scarlet deep

Mothers hold your children to you tight

Sorrow will come to those that sleep

Your young will be stolen to serve the ruler of the night

Their moans will howl in the wind

Well, this seemed appropriate for today, seeing that it's rather snowy. So here's one that got rejected from Hard Freight (PSU Altooona's literary magizine). Don't get me started on that whole affair. Oh, well, I like it anyway, even if the literary people don't. So too bad for them.

A Winter's Walk

The air holds that sharp, brittle quality;

Icy knives slash through clothing and flesh as if nothing;

Bitter cold seeps into your very bones,

Making you feel like you’ve never been warm,

Making you forget what warmth feels like.

All recollection of comfort fading, now less than a memory,

Glacial winds whip your face stealing all breath from your lungs,

Wiping your mind of all thought,

And from you hands and face all feeling.

No coat, nor hat, nor warm thought will banish this chill.

You long to dash back inside to a glowing hearth and a rosy smile

With four strong walls and one radiant heart to protect you from the cold.

But go you must when you cannot stay,

So you lower your head into the biting wind

And move your feet foreword through sheer force of will,

Survival your only thought, memory your only companion.

Buttery light spills from the windows behind,

Lying like a halo in the wind-whipped snow,

An unwelcome reminder of the warmth so recently left, but so distantly recalled.

Your breath comes in short puffs of white steam;

The powdery snow crunches loudly under your booted feet,

As you turn away from the comforting light.

Harsh moonlight crystallizes on the frosty path ahead,

And with a deep, heart-felt sigh you start down the desolate path.

So begins your long and lonely trek into the silent, empty, winter’s night.